I-Dare-You

RANT: Be Kind to #1

RANT: Yesterday I went for a walk on the beach with my friend, Kalona. Near the end of our walk, we sat on a bench under some ironwood trees and sat there yeow-yeowing, watching the wind on the waves and the evening sky draw closer.

As we spoke, Kalona said something I hear from a lot of people. I want to share my response with you, because I have a feeling it might help you let go of some of the pressure you feel in your life.

We were talking about health, and she said, “I’m not taking care of myself.”

Ask yourself how many times you say that, or hear friends say it. Usually, there is a smiling but determined statement right afterwards having to do with intending to ‘do better.’

I could feel that there was a deeper truth she was missing. So I said to her, “Let’s rephrase that to be more kind to you.”

Kalona has come a long way–only a few years ago, she started a little fledgling business doing weddings with a Hawaiian style for people from all over the world. Now she has one of the most popular and most unusual wedding services in Hawaii.* It’s been such a pleasure to see her progress, and move right through what, at the time, seemed like impossible impasses before.

I felt like she was undermining herself and all the hard work she had done on herself by saying that she wasn’t taking care of herself. Because in my experience of her, both as coach and as her friend, it’s easy to see that she constantly looks to upgrade every aspect of her life on a continual basis. I’ve never known her not to want to do better, on all levels.

So I asked, “What if you said something like,

Do You Compare (and Kick) Yourself?

This morning a client called me all upset, crying and out of breath in panic and desperation.

She wanted to be 'as good as Ms X, and have a website as beautiful and functional with products that are as great.'

She wanted some coaching, but her mind said, "I can't do it! I don't have the knowledge or expertise, my website can't compare, I'm not as good as Ms X is, I don't have the money, I'm afraid I'll pay and pay and not get anywhere...."

I'm going to write here as if I were talking right to her, because this is so common that I bet you go through it sometimes, too. Ready? Here goes:

Whoa! Slow down here! The first problem is that you got so hung up in comparing and thinking you weren't 'as good as' that you forgot! You forgot to notice that it's just energy! You're using it to compare yourself to someone you admire, and ending up feeling bad about yourself. No blame, you just forgot! So, let's turn that around now.

When you compare, you end up collapsing in upon yourself and focusing only on your default negative beliefs about yourself. Then they spiral you down deeper and deeper, until it seems like nothing will ever work again.

You are forgetting two more essential components: 1. As you compare

Do You Market to Women?

Did you know that women control:
52% of businesses in the US?
70% of the spendable income?

Might want to update your thinking about women! (Source for this article)

** In 1845, Sarah Mather received a patent for the invention of a submarine telescope and lamp. This was a remarkable device that permitted sea-going vessels to survey the depths of the ocean.

** Silver Screen superstar Hedy Lamarr (Hedwig Kiesler Markey) with the help of composer George Antheil invented a secret communication system in an effort to help the allies defeat the Germans in World War II.

The invention, patented in 1941, manipulated radio frequencies between transmission and reception to develop an unbreakable code so that top-secret messages could not be intercepted.

** A unique safety elevator invented by multi-patent holder Harriet Tracy and a device for lifting and transporting invalids invented by Sarah Sands.

** Margaret Knight was born in 1838. She received her first patent at the age of 30, eventually received some 26 patents. Her machine that made flat-bottomed paper bags is still used to this day!

Beat the Downturn, Grow Your Upturn

Aren't we just really fed up with all the 'downturn' gloom and doom?

I wish there was a newspaper or quality regular publication dedicated to success stories and tales of real-life people who buck the odds. Gloom and doom just doesn't cut it in my book. (Want the early scoop? Check out GlobalTeleclass.com)

There are so many people having the best years of their entire buiness experience because they are serving others right now - I'd much rather hear about them, what they do and how they do it, wouldn't you?

I read a blog yesterday by a guy who was ranting about how "baby-boomers' outdated spend and comsume mentality" was outdated. Hate to tell ya, but the idea of spend and consume was conceived of way before baby-boomers were lustful sparks in their parents' eyes. And yes, spend and consume no longer works - not that it ever did.

The economic system we use was put into place in 1913. It's based on what is called a 'fiat' currency (literally, a declared-value system that has no actual physical base of measure, like the gold standard did). It was bound to fall flat in a matter of time simply by definition. Historically, any economy based on fiat currency is doomed even before its inception - it's only a matter of when.

The whole story of the world's economic floundering is way beyond the scope of this little note, so suffice it to say that these are conditions we 'little guys' can't do much about, except in the way we react, respond and create in our own personal lives.

Note: If you really want detailed, historical information on why money is in the shape it is today, you will be fascinated to read Michael Maloney's intensely thorough book, Guide to Investing In Gold and Silver: Protect Your Financial Future (you can get it at amazon.com). Michael is well-known entrepreneur Robert Kyosaki's silver and gold advisor.)

BUT - there's an interesting and exciting phenomenon

From Crisis to Calm, Confident Coach

As you've seen lately, the big buzz is crisis, crisis, crisis. Well, we all know that any crisis makes us hustle our little behinds off and end up finding new opportunities that either we didn't see before or simply were non-existent.

So this note is for those of you who want to hustle your tush and bypass the crisis and get something good going so the dip in the market won't smash you!

Impatient? Here's the scoop: I invite you to come to a FREE 90-minute tele-training session with Hilton Johnson of HealthCoachingU.com on FRIDAY, MARCH 6th from 2 to 3:30 pm NY time. Click HERE to register now.

It's been my own personal experience that the more I help people live the way they'd like to live, the more fulfilled and happy I, myself, feel. I don't mind watching products and services get snapped up and dollars roll into the bank, either. Very satisfying.

I think the best part of it, though, is enjoying the people who come to me for coaching and seeing them discover how to stride from mountain top to mountain top after years of miserable slogging through the muck.

Now, one of your innate skills might be helping people, too. Do you find that people come to you and ask you what to do or how to do it - and you answer and spend time with them and feel happy to help? But you don't get paid?

What if you could get paid for something that is so natural to you? Wouldn't that get you on top of the crisis wave instead of getting mauled by it?

And I bet you didn't know that

Don't Set Goals - Set Action Steps!

Yesterday a friend and I were going over some goals she had set for the year.

It was a long list, and by the time I had scanned to the bottom of it, I felt a heavy lead weight in the bottom of my belly just looking at the list. It felt like a pile of dread. Ever get that feeling?

Why does that happen? It's because there's no end in sight!

It just looks like a long list of not-doable items that tips you into overwhelm because there's no foreseeable end to them.

You end up thinking there's something wrong with you, or unconfident, or - but that's not it - it's just that you haven't created your list right!

How to avoid that:

Your Soul's Deepst Desire

I got a note yesterday from someone who was upset that I "always used to be about inspiration, but now" you only "talk about money and selling yourself."

Let's look at that. For me, the worst aspect of being a broke starving artist for so many years was the attitude I had about myself and my life.

Over and over and over I tried to get along in life, sell my work, pay my rent, and do the things I saw other, 'more successful' people do. But somewhere along the way I always dropped the ball and the results didn't come to me.

I felt a full spectrum of emotions all the time: from angry, sad, disillusioned, sick with worry, depressed, desperate, to confused, rebellious and suicidal. There was no end to it, and the older I got and the less success I had in taking care of the simplest necessities drove me--on a daily basis--to dwell upon ending my life.

If you had asked me then what success meant to me, it would have been to feel good about myself and my life, and have enough sales of my work that I could cover the necessities and have a little left over to be able to be generous and have a little fun.

Being famous or making million-dollar sales wasn't a part of my thinking. Maybe it should have been! All I really wanted was to feel alive. I didn't believe in myself enough to think I could have any more than that.

What, really, *is* success--to you? And why would you want it? What will you do once you attain success? How will you contribute? With whom will you share your joy, your money, your time, your talents, gifts and skills?

This is what is important, not the just the money. I had a deep breakthrough a few years ago when I read Lynne Twist's book, The Soul of Money, when I read that

Great News for Artists

Well-known Canadian Painter Robert Genn has a bi-weekly newsletter that I subscribe to, and I was delighted to read this after Obama won the election:

"Of interest is Obama's cultural program....Obama wants to increase funding for the National Endowment for the Arts and change the Federal Tax Code for artists.

He has ideas like sending out "Artists Corps" to underprivileged schools and communities, expansion of public-private partnerships to increase cultural education programs, cultural diplomacy and the inclusion of foreign talent, less inward-looking xenophobia all 'round, as well as health care for artists.

Obama also backs Senator Patrick Leahy's "Artist-Museum Partnership Act," allowing artists to deduct the fair market value of work given to charitable institutions. We might hope that this enlightenment may shine on fundraisers too.

Positive change in this last area would do wonders for charities. Fundraisers would attract better and more valuable art, raise standards, and would give relief to perpetually beleaguered artists. Think of the value to educational institutions alone."

It's been a long, gory 8 years being an artist in this last administration--guess you might say I'm stoked to see the change.

What Are You Creating Today?

In the past couple days, I've talked to a whole lot of people who have all said the same thing: I feel so strange, like I'm out of energy, or angrier than I've ever been, or numb, or depressed.

If this is what you, too, are feeling, remember that it's not just you--it's all the energy around you, too.

I see it like this: we are little pieces of driftwood floating down Life's River.

Sometimes we get caught in the Rapids or the Whirlpool or going over the Waterfall, and it feels exciting or terrifying (or whatever word you want to use to identify the feeling you're feeling).

But it's more than you--the energy of Life is all around you, and you're feeling your part of it.

There's a great way to disengage with what's bigger than you so you can handle what IS you. Try this:

In Today's Chaos

Why not go out on a limb? That's where all the fruit is.
--Will Rogers

In this day and age where it seems that everything hangs in suspense--a new US president, a supposedly failing economy, stocks tanking--why not be outrageous and actually go for your dreams?

What's holding you back?

What would happen if you actually (gasp!) DID create the dream you have deep in your heart?

OMIGOD--you might be happy! You might achieve success and have more money! You might be able to help even more people than you serve right now! Can you handle it?

Here's the important thing: it's not about how can I survive these days at all. Because these days will continue whther you make it or not, and they will continue to go up and down in relative 'goodness' and 'badness' no matter what you or I or the lampost does.

It's about keeping your focus on your inner directive. That Singular Reason you do what you do. Keep your eye on that, keep your heart open and your actions aligned with that.

Do that, always asking yourself, 'what is one small thing I can do to keep creating my dream?" Even if only taking a little bitty breath is all you can do right now. More space will open for you as you continue to breathe, re-connect, breathe, take action, and so on.

I send you love, suppport and strength!